Pondering and Praying

Periodically I go to my dad's grave to ponder and pray. Yesterday was one of those occasions. It occured to me that my ponderings were not so much the grief of loss as much as the sadness of what never became.

Perhaps one day what I'd dreamed of while he lived will happen in God's re-creation. Maybe dad and I will walk side by side and laugh, dream, and just be father and son in harmony. That will be nice if it occurs.

I found myself speaking to my Heavenly Father yesterday - aware that my prayers, springing forth from recollections of my dad's failures, were being offered as hopes that I would not be as he was.

My prayer is that God will make me the kind of husband, dad, friend, and man of God that when my son stands pondering and praying over my grave someday that his prayers will be that he could be like me...cause I was like Jesus.

We'll see.